Aquila and Priscilla: A sanctified marriage
A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife (1 Timothy 3:2).
Over time, as with many things, man changed God’s model of marriage. Men often had several wives; King Solomon had 700 (1 King 11:3). Women were owned as property and often abused. It is only when we come to Christianity that God’s model is reaffirmed: a lifelong union between one man and one woman. Paul, in outlining the qualifications of a bishop in 1 Timothy 3:2, writes, “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife.”
Today, this concept of marriage is thought of as being unrealistic. Yet, when a marriage fails, people continue to look for this ideal relationship and often remarry. The desire for this God-appointed relationship is still widespread. Aquila and Priscilla had a marriage which was characterised by knowing God. Christian marriage should be prepared for, by asking for God’s guidance to be led to the right person with whom you will share your life.
The relationships upon which a marriage is formed have to be open, and based upon genuine love and trust. It is essential to have spiritual help and guidance from spiritual and experienced Christian married couples as part of the marriage preparation. It cannot be overemphasised how crucial it is to approach marriage thoughtfully and carefully. And it is also vital, if your marriage gets into difficulty, to seek help earlier rather than later. Time is of the essence if a breakdown is taking place. A good marriage can fail, but a failing marriage can be restored.
The Lord Jesus was central to Aquila and Priscilla’s marriage because He was central in each of their lives. This is not always the case. Their faith and daily trust in Christ gave them the resources to understand how to work things out when trouble came along. Today we live in a throwaway world. As consumers, we use up things, then get replacements. We no longer try very hard to repair things. If our television or washing machine breaks down, what do we do? We change them. It is often less expensive and time consuming to change an appliance than to replace a part. This is reflected in our relationships. Relationships often only survive while things are going well. When difficulties arise, relationships are abandoned. Even as Christians, we can become resigned to this trend and put it down to the days we live in. We can cease to express faith in the God of reconciliation.
Aquila and Priscilla’s marriage faced enormous difficulties. They lost their home and became refugees. It was their relationship with God which enabled them to overcome such pressures. Trouble did not separate them from God, but brought them closer to Him and to one another. And it developed a marriage which became such a blessing to others. How do we handle difficulties in our marriages? Do we endure them alone until they became unbearable? Do I as a husband fail to see the physical, emotional or spiritual struggles my wife has? Or do I personally take responsibility to understand and help her in such circumstances? Equally, a man needs the same response from his wife in times of stress and difficulty.
Communication is a crucial aspect of marriage. It involves three things: explaining, listening and learning. We need to explain to each other the things which encourage us and the things which concern us. We also need to listen, not only to the words that are being said but to recognise the emotions which are often hard to express. Listening is so beneficial. Think of the times when a friend simply listened to you. Afterwards, the circumstances had not changed, but you felt better, simply because someone listened and understood. God is the best listener there is. His ear and His heart are never closed to us, and neither should ours be to each other. Do not make the mistake my wife, June, often reminds me of when she says, “Gordon you hear, but you don’t listen!” Make time to listen, and act on what you learn. Communication is about learning. In marriage, the Lord’s words “Learn of Me” are vital. He wants us to learn from Him in all the experiences we pass through as man and wife. We should go into God’s presence together and pray for and with each other. This way, we build and strengthen our marriages, and become better able to demonstrate His love and power in them.
